Waiting and Sleeping

All our eggs are in one basket.

On Wednesday we got the call from AART to let us know that the other two eggs hadn't survived to Day 5. We have pretty mixed emotions... sad, because it would have been good to have the option to freeze embryos, possibly avoiding the IVF cycle in the future... happy because we implanted the other two on Day 3 rather than waiting until Day 5. Although, the two that were implanted were the best ones, so maybe they would have survived until Day 5.

Ultimately, it doesn't matter. Red may have embryos that have settled nicely into the uterine lining and are dividing like gangbusters. She's been very tired this week, known to be a symptom of pregnancy. (Symptom... hmmm, don't really consider pregnancy a disease.) Or there might be nothing going on, and she's simply tired from weeks of drugs and unpleasant poking of her lower torso.

We don't know. And we won't until June 3, when we go in for Red's blood test.

It's frustrating... after years of nothing working, we finally had tasks to do to make it work, drugs and needles and appointments and do your thing and don't do your thing... now it's just relax and wait.

We're very grateful for all the positive energy coming our way, whatever its form. We feel it. Sorry to those who we may have been testy with on the "we're not pregnant yet" point. We're not trying to argue semantics... it's really important to us that we not consider ourselves pregnant until we actually are. If it doesn't work it's going to be really hard on us... it'll be worse if we allow ourselves to believe we're pregnant now.

(Oh, and for those out there who are questioning my choice of pronoun, i.e. how is it that you are also pregnant Sperm, I fully admit that Red has had to bear almost all of the burden here. It's just an easier way to write.)

Red is still sore, but it's a lot better than what it was on the weekend. She is very tired and has been both taking naps and going to bed early. It's actually been really good... we've been getting much better sleep this week. (It helps that the Bruins are no longer in the playoffs.) She's trying to keep her stress low and not exert herself too much. We're doing all we can to keep those little eggs/embryos warm and snuggly.

Beyond that, all we can do is wait. And sleep.

I'll try to use the waiting time to flash back to some of our earlier experiences with this process. In the meantime, keep praying for us, thinking about us, sending us good vibes, and juxtaposing those phalanges.

They're All Up In There

Some of our eggs are in one basket.

We went in this morning to discuss what to do with the four fertilized eggs, and ended up having two move back to their old neighbourhood. After a long discussion about the pros and cons of Day 3 vs. Day 5, the pros and cons of implanting two vs. three, and the chances of birth defects with multiples, it took only 10 minutes for Dr. Hamilton (with Brenda on Ultrasound and Danielle handling egg transport) to put the two best eggs in place once we'd made (been guided to) the decision. They were in literally before we knew it. The most painful part for Red was the full bladder she had to maintain. (Apparently it helps the uterus line up nicely for the implantation.)

Here's the ultrasound from just after the implantation... the UFO I've circled shows the medium that has just been implanted... inside the medium are the two fertilized eggs... everybody chant now... Go Blastocysts Go! Go Blastocysts Go! (The dark area on top is the very full bladder.)



Red's still in some pain from the retrieval on Friday, but having three holes poked in your va-jay-jay will do that. And she has a nasty bruise on her hand from the IV. We took a picture of the bruise, but it really wasn't that impressive, so here's a shot of the IV being put in.



They're going to keep the remaining two eggs going, and if they're still viable on day 5 or 6 (and meet the criteria) they'll be frozen for next time. Red is not keen on doing the egg retrieval again.

Red has been taking this drug called Prometrium since the day after retrieval (Saturday) that helps maintain the lining of the uterus. If I remember correctly, it's progesterone, and it tricks the body into thinking it's pregnant, because the natural cycle is still shut off. Once the eggs take hold as embryos in the uterus, the right hormones (HCG) get produced and the body is able to start doing what it's supposed to. But for the first several weeks, the prometrium helps keeps things comfy for the eggs/embryos.

Because the prometrium capsules resemble mini, gray Glosettes, and are taken as a vaginal suppository, I've taken to calling them "vag candy". When I mentioned this to Dr. Hamilton and Brenda in my nervousness this morning, I got polite laughter. But Red has somewhat adopted the name... so I declare phrase creation victory!

More sevens... Red just realized today that the locker we used at AART today and on Friday was locker #7. And not by conscious choice. Spooky wha'? (Thanks to Travis and Mark for humouring us with the numbers thing... and for the good wishes.)

So now we just wait... in 16 days time (June 4th) Red will go in for a pregnancy test... keep your good thoughts/prayers/energy/digits going for those little suckers all up in there...

And as an added bonus on this post, I've included this glamour shot of Red and I from Retrieval Day... how hot are we!?



P.S. to Travis... I'm sure Red would appreciate some good luck belly rubs from you and Tycho while you're here this week... bring the west coast love and warm up those fingers...

P.S.S to everybody else... I don't think I'll provide one of the flashbacks I was considering... a comment on the first post made me realize that since my mom and my sister and my aunt and my mother-in-law and my sister-in-law are reading / might read this, maybe I should keep some details to myself. If anyone is curious, I'll provide on a want-to-know basis, but you've been warned.

Three at Fours

We've got three at fours.

I think "fours" means they've divided four times. We learned what it meant last week in the IVF info session, and saw pictures, but I can't remember clearly.

Implantation might be tomorrow (Monday). We're going to go in and discuss it in the morning. If we put all three in to give us a better chance, there's a chance we'd get triplets... or more. But if we don't put them in there's a chance they won't survive for an implantation Tuesday or Wednesday. There are a number of factors to consider... it's weird... our goal is to have one healthy child, but the best way to reach that goal might be to accept a real risk of having two or three.

Well, that's one of the reasons we stayed in the same city as our families, right? You up for multiples potential grandparents?

========= FLASHBACK ========================
Last Saturday afternoon (May 9th) we get the call with the results from the AART team's discussion of that morning's blood test and ultrasound. (It's Sherri (Cheri?)... she's the one the staff say is a little crazy... but you know, the fun crazy.) Sherri says things are progressing well and it's a possibility that retrieval might be that Wednesday. After the phone call, Red is in the middle of explaining to me what she said when the phone rings again. She picks it up, says hello, and the response is this:

"Hi again... have I talked to you about your husband's ejaculation?"

Best...Conversation-Opener...Ever! And as a bonus, I have to - HAVE TO - ejaculate Sunday night... well, if I have to...
============================================

So... please keep the good thoughts coming our way... your prayers, positive energy, good wishes and crossed fingers (especially the arthritic ones) are appreciated.

3 * 7 is 21.... her street number and mine growing up. Also the date of our anniversary. (Four years this Thursday.) It's probably meaningless, but we'll take any good omens we can find...

Seven Eggs

On Friday morning, they found seven* eggs.

It's now Saturday night... they called this morning to say that four of the eggs had successfully fertilized. We can do nothing but wait.... they'll call tomorrow to let us know which ones are still cooking along.

FUN FACT: The incubators in which they keep the fertilized eggs are made by a company called Cook. There's a joke in there somewhere that has a "how do you like your eggs cooked" punchline, but it's not coming right now... any suggestions?

It was extremely tough on Red... after all, they had to start an IV in her hand, drugged her up, hooked her up to more monitors than a matrix pod, and then poked a ginormous needle through her vaginal wall and drained her ovaries.

It was tough but the staff were awesome. Brenda and Karen were fantastic... caring, empathetic, gentle, reassuring, and often hilarious. Dr. Hamilton got probably more than a dozen vials of fluid out... and she was very reassuring... this one knows what she's doing... and there was Josee's matter of fact voice calling out from the lab in the next room as she found each egg... Red was so worried there wasn't going to be any eggs... the relief, combined with the drugs, meant tears once the procedure was over... I was so in love with her sharing her joy and relief... she did so well...

And then, 45 minutes later, it was my turn... as Joey would say, "That's right, I stepped up, and I would pee on any one of you if I had to." Except in this case, that wasn't quite my task. Unlike Joey, however, I didn't get stage fright.... everything worked just fine, especially the homemade stuff (more on that in a later post).

They keep telling us that every gate we get through makes the chances of success better. We just have to keep thinking only about the next step, and all of the ones we've passed, and not get freaked out about all the other stuff that needs to go right.

Let's see, what was before this one...would they fertilize? Before that, were there any eggs? (I suppose there was also a technical concern about whether the sperm would be available, but as I told Red, "I've been practicing my whole life for this task" ... if we were talking Malcolm Gladwell, I'd more than have my 10,000 hours.) Before that, would Red's follicles respond to the drugs? Before that, would Red's system be down-regulated? Before that, would Red's uterus pass the cavity check? Before that, would my boys pass their cavity check? Before that, will I be able to get this TV working so I can enjoy the fine AART pornography?

That will bring me to my first flashback... on my next post.

* Josee actually came in later to announce she had found an eighth, but she thought it was "post-mature" and wouldn't be a good one.