Waiting and Sleeping

All our eggs are in one basket.

On Wednesday we got the call from AART to let us know that the other two eggs hadn't survived to Day 5. We have pretty mixed emotions... sad, because it would have been good to have the option to freeze embryos, possibly avoiding the IVF cycle in the future... happy because we implanted the other two on Day 3 rather than waiting until Day 5. Although, the two that were implanted were the best ones, so maybe they would have survived until Day 5.

Ultimately, it doesn't matter. Red may have embryos that have settled nicely into the uterine lining and are dividing like gangbusters. She's been very tired this week, known to be a symptom of pregnancy. (Symptom... hmmm, don't really consider pregnancy a disease.) Or there might be nothing going on, and she's simply tired from weeks of drugs and unpleasant poking of her lower torso.

We don't know. And we won't until June 3, when we go in for Red's blood test.

It's frustrating... after years of nothing working, we finally had tasks to do to make it work, drugs and needles and appointments and do your thing and don't do your thing... now it's just relax and wait.

We're very grateful for all the positive energy coming our way, whatever its form. We feel it. Sorry to those who we may have been testy with on the "we're not pregnant yet" point. We're not trying to argue semantics... it's really important to us that we not consider ourselves pregnant until we actually are. If it doesn't work it's going to be really hard on us... it'll be worse if we allow ourselves to believe we're pregnant now.

(Oh, and for those out there who are questioning my choice of pronoun, i.e. how is it that you are also pregnant Sperm, I fully admit that Red has had to bear almost all of the burden here. It's just an easier way to write.)

Red is still sore, but it's a lot better than what it was on the weekend. She is very tired and has been both taking naps and going to bed early. It's actually been really good... we've been getting much better sleep this week. (It helps that the Bruins are no longer in the playoffs.) She's trying to keep her stress low and not exert herself too much. We're doing all we can to keep those little eggs/embryos warm and snuggly.

Beyond that, all we can do is wait. And sleep.

I'll try to use the waiting time to flash back to some of our earlier experiences with this process. In the meantime, keep praying for us, thinking about us, sending us good vibes, and juxtaposing those phalanges.